I Think About Ending My Life Every Day

Injured after the jab, this anonymous submission is struggling after seeing over 20 doctors.

I’ve had some inflammatory issues for the last 15-20 years. With the covid 19 virus pandemic hitting hard in 2020, I was afraid to get the virus because I didn’t want to get more health issues. I did everything in my power to get the two dosages of vaccines before they were available to the public. The first one was the Oxford vaccine that was through a study program in the beginning of the year of 2021.

I had inflammatory issues and some anxiety and sleeping issues before the vaccine but after the second dose with the Pfizer I never had any kind of neuropathy or neurological issues ever in my life. Everything else I had in the past just got worse like the sleeping and anxiety it was overnight. Actually I was sleeping pretty good and my health was doing much better throughout the years before the vaccine

I had pretty weird side effects to that but nothing unusual. Some of my inflammatory from previous injuries with some of my joints and back came back for about a month and a half, but then went away. The Oxford vaccine program was through UCLA. They denied me my second dose because they said I didn’t want to come in right away but I was helping a family member. And I really didn’t want to take another dose so close to the first dose. But the real reason UCLA AstraZeneca kicked me out of their vaccine program for the second dose was because they were not going to be using the vaccine in the USA, so they shut down the program and didn’t give me my second vaccine. They told me to go get another vaccine when they were available to the public.

When I went to the hospital I stopped sleeping at this point and I was getting neuropathy all over my body as well as my tongue was going numb and the leg issues were the worst because I felt like I was going to be disabled. The people that checked me in said what's your problem you just have anxiety when I told him what was going on. My doctors didn't really do too many tests but maybe a long x-ray. And some blood work. They said it might be paresthesia in my legs but vaccines don't really hurt people or they will go away after time don't worry just go home. The doctor had a really bad attitude and didn't seem to care after waiting 3 hours to see him.

I went a month and a half later or two to get my second vaccine. Obviously I mixed the vaccines because I had to then get the Pfizer. That’s when I got the neurological problems. I was so desperate to not get the virus that I jumped the gun and got these early vaccines, because no one was talking about any kind of side effects. But it’s like now I have long covid and it’s neurological and no one’s helping me. No doctors, no financial help, no nothing. I’m about to lose my house because i can’t go back to work.

Immediately after getting the vaccine I felt like my vision was cloudy blurred everything was moving in slow motion and got extremely fatigued. Could barely drive myself home but after about 5 hours I started getting a stiff neck my throat started to swell it was hard to swallow Then I got extreme pressure in my head like something was moving around in my brain . I started getting burning all over my arms Legs with pins and needles. My left testicle swole up and it was hard to pee for about 3 days. Started getting neuropathy through my toes and they were going numb on and off. Getting shooting pain into my toes and feet and the bottoms of my soles felt like I was walking on fire then I started getting swelling into my jaw it felt like and my teeth started to hurt. In neuropathy went up and down my body and then later in the night went into my lips and felt extreme pain and shocking sensations. Then the pain went into my nostrils and they felt like they were on fire and up by my eyes and nose passage it felt like I was getting shocked intense pain that kept going for about a year still comes and goes. I also was extremely fatigued. After about 2 weeks I had extreme insomnia that I have till this day and have to be on medication. Then my leg started jumping around muscle movement issues and I also had internal shaking as well as outward shaking on and off. My tongue started going numb and I felt like I was going to lose feeling in my tongue. Then after 2 weeks as well I started having full body jerks after my legs would shake for a while. Then I started getting adrenal dumps and anxiety that I still live with. I went to my doctor but he never reported my injuries about a week or two after the vaccine. I also went to the hospital because I started getting leg twitching and numbness throughout my legs and neuropathy but the hospital would not take me serious and said it was anxiety as well as a bunch of other doctors I went to. A few of them were neurologists.I'm going to sleep study and they said I have movement disorder in my sleep I've never had that that I'm aware of before the vaccine. I have suicide thoughts and I keep thinking to end my life because I can't function I lost my career of 22 years. And I don't have good insurance anymore. My life is pretty much ruined and I don't have friends or family that really understand what's going on. I have lost the ability to make money so I am at a loss.

I’m pretty much bed bound if I do too much. I get head pressure and neuropathy, and my legs feel like they’re going to stop working, and then I get full blown body jerks. I’m on medication that helps a little bit but nothing to get me back to work or functioning, and this has ruined my 22-year career. I worked for UPS and was treated horribly because of a learning disability and my body started giving out on me before the vaccine. Now I don’t even have energy to get through an hour of work, so I had to quit at the moment.

Family doesn’t understand, nor friends. My daughters gaslight me.  I’ve been to about 20 or more doctors. I think about ending my life every day.

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